Not that long ago I sat down to meet with a coaching client. She was stressing over some issues in her life – accomplishing work goals, dealing with friendships that were moving into different phases of life than she was in, etc. It seemed the complexity of those and other issues had her head spinning. After working through some next steps with her I decided after I left the appointment to review her personality type (determine yours here) a little deeper to discover how I could be more effective in coaching her.
Today’s post is about evaluating what get a persons head spinning (aka stressed!). Here’s the image of what get’s my head spinning. Click here or on the image and go to the website where you can look at what gets your personality’s type head spinning.
I will take a few items on the image and walk you through what it means and what is within my power to change. Addressing those areas that get your head spinning can be an effective way to set your head back on straight and move forward to your goals and what’s important in your life:
Disorganized Work Environment:
I find this one interesting as I always seem to be battling a messy desk. Perhaps it’s the curse of being a creative and a off the charts learner strength (ie, piles of stuff to read everywhere). In fact if you were in my office as I type this you would see not one, not two but three piles spread throughout. Yet even typing about it stresses me out. On days when I’m stressing I have two methods for dealing with this before I can move on to what needs to be done. 1. Clean up the mess! 2. If I don’t have time for that I employ the scoop and hide method. Scoop it all off the top of my desk and put it out of sight so that I can concentrate on the task at hand that needs to be done. Today’s a scoop and hide kinda day.
I’m not sure this one is a personality issue or more a human issue. The more people I coach the more I find that the longer their list of things they have procrastinated about gets the more stuck, more overwhelmed, more depressed they get. So for me if I’m feeling that way or I have a coaching client that is feeling that way one of the first questions I ask is what are you procrastinating about? I find the faster I can get the client or myself marking items off this list the more clarity, the freer, and the more energized we become! Learn more strategies for beating procrastination here.
Lack of Initiative:
Nothing is more like nails on a chalk board for me than a person who repeatedly talks about their problems/issues and does NOTHING about them. Even in the most rare cases of an issue not being able to be changed you can still CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE about it. I guess that’s why my friends and coaching clients call me “The Kick in the Pants Coach” because this stressor right here is why. And generally if I can’t give them a kick in the pants and get them going then I have to limit my time exposed to them. Otherwise the stress of the matter might cause me to strangle them. Only kidding…well sort of.
What this image doesn’t tell you about my personality is that I’m extremely independent. And extremely is probably a tad understating it. Thus micromanaging is definitely a stressor for me. While I don’t have to deal with this in my work that is currently self-employed, I do have to deal with this when serving my husband in his business, volunteering in my church and in the community. And this is where having good communication skills and a willing courage to have the difficult conversations with those micromanaging me about earning their trust in my competence and commitment is a must have.
Mindless Rule Followers:
Rules have a time, a place and a purpose. But beyond God’s Top 10 I don’t believe all rules are necessary, effective, or efficient. Can we please explore the heart of the matter and apply some common sense and context. I think Jesus would agree. You can read about his rant to the Rules Makers (called Pharisees) of his day in Matthew Chapter 23.
Armed with the knowledge that these things that stress me I can more quickly resolve the stress in my life by taking action, prayers and letting go where necessary. So what about you. Do you know what stresses you? Do you know the actions you need to take quickly to eliminate the stress?